Thrown into the math jail.

(Not necessarily funny, but original)

Students and  their high crimes are below. Never, never try any of these! You have been warned. Math police are watching!

Jinny tried to divide by zero -police zeroed in on her.(IMPOSSIBLE)

Billy tried to square a circle-  he is a well known exponent of math crimes.
(iMPOSSIBLE)

Cathy tried to trisect an angle-found her by triangulating the perimeter.
(IMPOSSIBLE)

Vincent  was caught being an outlier. He said he could go past infinity.
(OUTLIERS ARE WAY PAST AVERAGE, BUT NOT INFINITE)

J, a well known radical Gang member, told students there were square roots. Math police had planted a bug.  J was released today when the judge found out his idea was well grounded. (Radical means root as in square root sign-What are radishes?)

Terrence threw a pi at the teacher. The principal delta huge punishment against him. (PI AND DELTA ARE TWO GREEK LETTERS)

Mr. M was caught teaching students that a linear equation was a curve. He promised to go straight from now on.( WHATEVER APPEARS AS THE
GRAPH IS A CURVE EVEN IF IT IS A STRAIGHT LINE, MATH POLICE HAVE BEEN REPRIMANDED AND MR M VINDICATED)

Bobby, accused of teaching that one is prime, escaped from math jail. Not to worry, police have his number. (A PRIME HAS EXACTLY TWO
INTEGRAL DIVISORS)

Tammy cheated on a statistics test. She vowed to get even with the teacher but she realized the odds were against her.

Kenny jailed for combining unlike terms. The judge was quick to solve that problem. Early release is not likely.(IF YOU ADD UNLIKE TERMS YOU
WILL GET A WRONG ANSWER)

Andrew accused his math teacher of being average. Principal told Andrew that was mean. 

X (identity still unknown ) got out of line with y ( name withheld).
Scotty used the correct coordinates to locate him. X said he did not get the point and didn't know y. Mr Spock recognized x from a line up.
(MR SPOCK IS A VULCAN AND SCOTTY IS PROBABLY FROM SCOTLAND)

Disclaimer:The above is for instructional purposes only . Any resemblance to real humans, humanoids, or any galactic aliens living or deceased is purely coincidental.

Math class 1st period. Are you kidding?
                                                                                     

So That's Your Angle
Jasmine-I failed every course but geometry.
Melissa- How did you escape failing geometry?
Jasmine- I never took geometry.*

 Questions to Ponder
Why do we drive on the Parkway and park on the
driveway?

Why is a Boston Cream Pie a cake and a cheesecake a pie?

Why Grapenuts? No grapes and no nuts.

Why send cargo by ship and a shipment by truck?

* Jasmine did take geometry (passed it too) but was sweet enough to let me kid her. Thanks, Jasmine.

 MY Frac tured Lim ericks
           By J Gang

           Imagine That!
There once was a number named pi
who was a very pleasant sort of guy
With each and every day
he found a fun way to play
with his imaginary friend named i.

       Pi Guy Went Awry
There once was a math guy named J
Who thought in a very serious way
To take multiple roots of Pi
no one knew the  reason why
but he would do it at least once a day.

           Too Graphic
Mr G was a great lover of  mathematics
Who taught his  best students quadratics
X is the opposite of b over 2a
They so oft would hear him say
and now they've all become math addicts.
(Formula for axis of symmetry of a parabola)

       A Bad Arrangement
A mathematician of most eminent repute
had 100,000  items in which to permute
he toiled for many a day
and did it without any pay
In the end he felt it was too long to compute.
(Permutations are orderly arrangements)

              A Little Byrd told me...
There once was a mathematician named Byrd
Who thought squaring infinity was absurd.
She said,"it makes no sense
and It's really kind of dense."
You see, Ms Byrd always has the last word.

           Now We All Know!
There once was a mathematician named Moore
who said, " I know exactly what I will explore.
I will go to its very end
and many minds will it bend
as I reveal the last two digits of pi are 3 and 4."
(What do you think of Moore's discovery?)

      An Exemplary Leader and Teacher
There once was a teacher named Hutch
Her students were special and loved her so much.
She could reach each student
Because her methods were prudent
She will long be remembered as the good Dr. Hutch.

       

Rotund Knight of Yore
The roundest knight at King Arthur's  round table was Sir Cumference. He enjoyed large portions of homemade pi.

Hillbilly Math-Easy as PIe
Jed- Howdy, Jethro, what did you learn in skool today?
Jethro- Well, Jed, I learned Pi r squared.
Jed- You don't need to go back to that skool because everybody knows that pie are round and cornbread are square!

Plan Ahead
Erika-Did you hear about the two hats on the hat rack?
Nee Nee- No, what about them?
Erika- One hat said to the other," I have a plan "and the other hat said,"All right, what's your plan?" The first hat said," you stay here and I'll go on a head."

If Eight is Enough, What is Nine?
Allie- If there are nine cats in a boat and one jumps out, how many are left?
Marcelle- None, they were all copycats

Outliers and Beyond
Katelyn- Statistics show that 4 out of 3 students do not understand fractions.

 Now that's Logic for You
Adam-there are two kinds of people.
William- Who are they?
Adam-Those that believe there are two kinds of people and those who don't.

 Puppy Tales
 1) Rupen- Emily, I heard your dog can talk,is that true?
Emily-  Yes it is, Rupen. I asked him  today how life was treating him and he said, "ruff".

2) Wilmer- Why did you name your dog Timex?
Lyndsey- Because he's a watch dog.

3) Chris- I noticed your dog doesn't dance very well.
Regina- Yeah, he was born with two left feet.

4) Desensio- My dog is really great at doing math.
Yonnick- How do you know?
Desenio- I asked him what is two minus two.
Yonnick- What did he say?
Desenio- He said nothing!

5) A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

6) John- What is a dog's favorite pizza.
Shelby- I don't know.
John- Pupperoni.

7) Rupen- I was impressed that your dog could talk, Emily. Has he said anything else?
Emily- Of course, Rupen, I asked him if he remembered who my best friend was and he said, "Rr...alff"

8) Sally- Why does your dog run to a corner every time you ring a bell.
Billy- It's because he's a boxer.

9) Bobbie- What kind of dog do you have, Kenny?
Kenny-  He's a pointer and a setter?
Bobbie- How can he be both?
Kenny- Because he's a disapointer and an upsetter.

 That's right, the other left
Courtney-two wrongs don't make a right.
Casey-True, but three rights make a left.

 Chilliest Factor
Avery- Brr! It's cold today.
Blake- Yeah, it got down to zero degrees today.
Anthony- You think that's bad-it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow.

On second thought
Jamil- How many seconds are there in a year?
Lily- Twelve, ...January second, February second, March
second...

Count me out
There are 3 types of mathematicians, those who can count and those who can't.

You can't win them all
Andy-My two silk worms had a race.
Randy- Which one was the winner?
Andy- Neither, they ended up in a tie.

             Wolves  respect their elders.

Now you see them, and now you don't
Bob- Why do elephants paint their toenails red.
Sam- I don't know, Bob.
Bob- to hide in the strawberry patches.
Bob- Have you ever seen elephants hiding in  strawberry patches?
Sam- No,  I haven't.
Bob- Right, it's working.

It figures
Wendy- Why is your Algebra II book so sad?
Cindy- Because it has too many  problems.